There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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