What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
