Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We are two peas in an std pod
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
