i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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