Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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