what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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