I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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