You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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