I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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