You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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