This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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