Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
