You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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