Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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