I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
