Jerry, you need to find god
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
