he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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