what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
