now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
