A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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