pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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