im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
