She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
