I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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