I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
