we have officially lost it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
