Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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