He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
