The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
