Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
40s are totally the cure
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You were trust falling into bushes
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
