i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
