This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
