They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
