The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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