sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
