I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
