I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
