I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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