I think i peed on brittanys purse
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
