she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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