And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
