and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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