Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
