if i can run in heels then i can drive
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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