it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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