Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
