What did we do last night that was yellow?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
