I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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