is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
