That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
