You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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