Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
