I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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