so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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